Update: The Turning Points Of Life

Sometimes when you’re standing at a turning point in life, it really helps to seek out answers to things that you don’t understand. There are times when seeking out answers may not help much. Such as why did a loved one have to die? In this situation about loosing my therapist, for me, seeking out answers has been crucial in helping me move on and hopefully to stop blaming people.

I think one of the keys to seeking out answers in situations like this is to wait until you’ve calmed down and are less emotional. Emotions can cloud judgments making it very difficult to understand other people’s view points.

I still don’t have all the answers as to why the doctor acted in the manner that she did, but I’m still seeking them out. I think I do understand what she meant by “Sometimes you have to take your therapists feelings into consideration”, after talking to one of Kara’s supervisors. Kara never told them that she felt she couldn’t work with me, but her supervisor asked her a more probing question. Did Kara think some of the things going on with the transference issue could stand in the way of my treatment? I think she was asking if Kara thought my feelings for her were beginning to distract me too much and I wasn’t focusing on getting better. Kara’s answer was yes, it was possible. I think that’s what the doctor meant.

There were other misunderstandings between Kara’s supervisors and me, but once again asking questions have been crucial. After I was able to think more clearly, what happened began to make more sense. I’ve even reluctantly begun to admit to myself that their decision was the right one. (Sometimes it seems like I’m just trying to convince myself of that so it won’t hurt so much.)