Locked Up Memories
Some more of my writing from a few years ago.
I had an argument with my sister a few years ago. During that time, I played certain parts of it over like a CD on continuous playback. After awhile, I shoved the memory inside a door in the back of my mind & locked it. Now, I panic whenever I think about unlocking it.
It’s kind of like sweeping the dirt under a rug. The floor looks nice and clean to visitors. The dirt is out of sight, out of mind. Right? Perhaps out of sight, but not out of mind. I know it’s still there, waiting to be discovered. Possibly by someone other than me.
If I’m the only one who ever knows it’s there, that’s enough. While visitors think everything is clean, I know the truth.
With memories repressed or locked behind doors, they’re not out of sight, out of mind. I know it’s there and it’s wanting to get back out.
The locked up memory is pushing on the door. Putting stress on it. Over time, if enough pressure is applied, the door is liable to break open. Then what’s the magnitude of the problem? Worse than in the beginning?